5 Ways to Combat a Mid-Career Homeschooling Slump
No one told me 16 years ago when I started homeschooling our oldest child that I’d still be homeschooling 16 years later, with 13 more years to go. I’m thankful they didn’t because I’m pretty sure I would have doubled over laughing until I crumpled into a crying heap.
I love homeschooling, but I did not intend to make a career out of it. Guess I should have thought of that when we had 8 kids, huh?
I speak to a lot of brand new homeschoolers at conventions every year, and my blog offers a smorgasbord of help to those just beginning their school-at-home journey. They are a bright-eyed, enthusiastic crowd, soaking up the vocabulary of homeschooling, from Charlotte Mason to Singapore Math, asking a hundred questions and leaving with bags full of catalogs and notes feverishly scrawled on the back of the conference program.
I love those novice homeschoolers, but clearly I am not one of them. I no longer get excited by the red bins of discount colored pencils at Target each August, and I delete most curriculum companies’ emails as they hit my inbox, yawning as my finger taps the keyboard.
What’s a homeschool mom in a mid-career slump to do? I’ve really had to dig deep these past two years to propel myself along, and this spring I finally embraced the fact that I have a major case of homeschool meh. Admitting I’m less than excited about homeschooling has helped me to create some direction.
5 Ways to Combat a Mid-Career Homeschooling Slump
- Admit you don’t want to do this anymore, or at the least aren’t as excited about it as you once were. Acknowledgement is the first step to recovery.
- Scale back to the academic non-negotiables and forget the cute things other (younger, newer) homeschoolers are executing, photographing, and pinning on Pinterest. Good for them! A fairy garden topographical to-scale map of Budapest is not for you right now.
- Feed your brain something other than educational material. Read a mystery novel or learn to surf. I’m not kidding about that last one; I learned to surf two years ago, and now I read Surfer magazine in my spare time. What have you always wanted to learn about and do? Do that.
- Make the household stuff even simpler than before. I’m willing to bet that it’s not the All American History or Christian Kids Explore Science that’s pulling you under. It’s the laundry that never goes away and the three meals a day plus snacks. I made a breakfast and lunch menu in September last year that has us serving the same meals made by the same kids each week. We’re on auto-pilot now, and I stepped out of the kitchen cockpit for two-thirds of our daily food preparation. Score!
- Get as much help as possible. If you can afford a housekeeper every week, awesome. Once a year? Fantastic. She’ll bail you out. Join a co-op, sign up for online classes, use a pre-planned curriculum (Illuminations = awesome). Outsource.
And of course, I do a lot of praying. I see our homeschool as a vibrant, living place for young people to grow and get the gospel, to launch from and make a big impact on their world. When I remember why we started this whole thing in the first place, I get a renewed excitement about the years ahead of us.
Comments (23)
Oh that is exactly what I am suffering from…13 years of homeschooling done, complete with graduating my first in 2 weeks…and 9 more years to go…I am in the slump…oh my…there I said it.
See, Stacey? THIS is why we need to hang out. I’ll teach you to surf…
Thanks Stacy. Did you start homeschooling when your oldest was 2? This week I’ll finish my 13th year of homeschooling. My oldest will graduate next year. Thanks for the wonderful post!!
YES, YES, YES!!!!! OHHHHHH GOD, YES!
I’m only at ten years, but my oldest two are graduating this year and next year, and all of a sudden I’m facing all the “upper school years’ academics” with our two younger sons…and I looked around my house the other week and CRIED!! WHO CARES??? WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
LOL, that felt good. But yes, exactly that.
I jokingly said to the Baby this morning that we need a vacation…and I really think we do. Just time to not do anything but read and soak in the sun, maybe go beat up some fish at the lake. We don’t have to go anywhere really, but some day trips would be lovely.
Oh and that whole 3 meals a day plus snacks? Bleh. Why do boys eat so much?
Thank you. I needed someone else to say this before I could acknowledge it. Now I have. And I’m getting out the books. We’re taking a “reading” holiday. In two weeks. Goal sighted.
Yay for you, Mish! Go take those days off. Take as many as you need!
~Kendra
Thank you. I really, really needed this. I want to keep going strong, but it’s hard. God brought this right when I needed it most!
Robin, I’m so glad He did. Isn’t He good like that?
~Kendra
I appreciate what you said about letting those moms that are really into the fairy garden, topographical map thing do their thing and it is OKAY that I’m not doing those things. The last year, and primarily the last six months, I am truly embracing who I really am and how I really operate. Knowing that we homeschool for relationships makes it easier to give up those extra things that I know would be really cool, but I just don’t have it in me. And that’s really okay. And I still get excited about the discounted school supplies in August 🙂
Go Michele! I’ll send you my list and let you shop for me 😀
Yes- know your frame. Sure wish I had. Took me way to long to figure out that I don’t do play dough. Or most crafts. Makes me a happier mom when I can let my kids get their fill of those things in Sunday School or a co-op or someplace other than with me. Oy, the pressure.
~Kendra
*too long
I have never been the fairy garden topo map kind of person. I hated big projects in school and I don’t like them now. It’s just not how I operate. It did take me a couple of years into this to realize that, though, as my mentor is totally into stuff like that. LOL
Maybe a reading break isn’t such a bad idea. We have to work on catching up in math for my oldest, but we could plan a short break or short weeks for the summer. Hmmm.
Kendra,
I really needed this today. You are right – it is not the actual school work, just the other stuff. My baby, #6, at 14 months seems to scream more and get into more than the others! My patience has worn thin. When my husband was deployed for a year and she was born – I felt like I gave up everything that I like to do. Tend to feel guilty crocheting when there is so much else I “should” do. You make me want to pick it up again. I would really like to read a book for fun. Enjoy our school reading, but miss reading for myself. And just for the record, I am finishing up official year 8 with 17 more to go!
Go, Megan!
The deal is, this is HARD. And a lot of homeschoolers don’t want to admit that. But it’s difficult and self-sacrificial, and stressful, and trying. All things that are worth our investment usually are at least one of those things. I’m never, never sorry we’ve chosen to educate our kids at home but I am sorry it took me so long to realize that it isn’t blossomy beauty every day.
Let’s live in the gospel (Jesus paid it all!) and realize that we can rest in His finished work on our behalf. We are already accepted, worthy, and valued because of what He has already done, not because we are great homeschooling moms. Egads. That’s an identity and idol I no longer want to worship.
~Kendra
Ahhhh a breath of fresh air . . . and great advice!! Now I just need to heed it :o) I haven’t graduated my first yet – that’s 2 yrs away – and my youngest #6 is only 4. I gave up the foo foo stuff a few yrs ago when we were battling with out son’s seizures. I learned that most of the basics did get covered that year, so it’s bare bones nitty gritty around here, there’s just not enough time! Plus there’s too many other FUN things to do that my children are interested in that aren’t “academic” but they’re great learning experiences!! I’d rather build our relationship than build their academic portfolio to impress others.
Very well said, Kendra, and just what I needed :o)
So glad it was helpful, Vanessa. Like you, the foo foo stuff flew out the window every time I was in my first trimester, which was like, every other year 😉 I spent 15 years pregnant, post partum, and nursing, and our oldest still graduated early, will have his BA done at 20, and our 2nd-born was accepted at the university of his choice. This homeschooling thing works, even if we stick to the basics.
~Kendra
I’m only in my 6th and ‘only’ have 3 but have seriously considered putting my 6 year old in school because I’m just at the end of my rope. Thank you for this post.
Sarah, you are not alone. I have cried out for a viable option many times, but the Lord leads us back home each time. Doesn’t mean I’m suddenly in love with homeschooling, but it does mean I need to figure out a way to work smarter and enjoy it more!
Thank you, thank you! Only 8 years in, eldest age 13, youngest age 1, total of 8 kids. Totally overwhelmed some days. I’m really stressing about high school and potential college plans, praying often for God’s wisdom. Also worn out by all the emotional energy needed to deal with discipline and hormonal upheaval and oh yes, house, laundry, and meals :-).
Thing is, I know that there really is NO other way. I had sucha ROTTEN time in public school. Yes, this week I admit I thought just briefly about a private Christian school but we couldn’t afford tuition times 8, plus running them to and from school would send me around the bend. Really, it is GOING TO BE OK. I need to trust that God meant what he said in James 1. He WILL give me wisdom. This homeschooling thing is HIS plan for us, so it is right even when it is hard. (But it not all a bed of roses. Or maybe it is. Roses have thorns.)
Good point, Laraba. I often reming myself that *every* job has its downsides. Every occupation gets tiring, frustrating, and boring. But at the end of the whole journey, I know we’ll be so thankful we persevered.
In my ten year, and to be honest in my second year of burn-out. Finally faced it this year and am finding changes for next year to help with my high schooler. Hopefully I’ll be able to focus on bringing the joy back into our school day.
Oh, I hope so, Lillian!
I have just started homeschooling and realized that I was not mentally or spiritually prepared. Then I found a website for homeschool mom’s and it has gotten me out of the slump, mentally and spiritually!! Check out http://www.Titus2.com. I think it will refresh you like it has me!! We all need encouragement. Thanks Kendra for your post.
I have 4 children, oldest 9. I haven’t been homeschooling long but I’m in a slump. I don’t mind the schooling so much or even the constant housework but the attitude of my children sends me around the bend. I really, really want to homeschool but some days I wonder what in the world I was thinking. Just praying that the Lord will help me cause I’m not cut out for this. I feel angry, frustrated, irritated most of the time and am so thankful that its summer. Maybe I’ll be better in the fall cause I’m doing it for another year. Yay!