Symbiosis: The Solution to Overwhelmed Parents and Bored Children

Do your children announce their absolute boredom about the time you feel absolutely overwhelmed? Do they demand your attention just as you reach the breaking point of having too much to do and too little time to do it?

If so, that’s a beautiful place to be.

“Beautiful? Are You Crazy?”

“What?! You say, ‘beautiful’? I think not! It’s terrible! I’m ready to put my kid on the big yellow bus, or submarine, or any form of transportation that will get them out of my hair.”

I hear ya. I’ve been there. Really, truly. Having raised and homeschooled two children from birth to high school graduation, I get it. Even now, in the influential stage of mothering young adults, I have my moments. I get it.

I know what it’s like to have way too much to do and way too little time and energy to do it in when in walks the offspring complaining there’s “nothing to do.”

It took me awhile to figure out that that moment is beautiful. It’s God’s gift of symbiosis. And as moms, we are best off if we receive the gift.

The Gift of Symbiosis

Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines symbiosis, the relationship between two different kinds of living things that live together and depend on each other.

God gifts families with symbiotic relationships: we all depend on each other to get through life.

God gifts families with symbiotic relationships: we all depend on each other to get through life.

(I was going to say “get the job done” but I’ve had experiences where I felt like an underpaid employee rather than a living breathing woman serving her family, so I changed it to “get through life.”)

Applying Symbiosis to Parenting

Let’s apply symbiosis to parenting:

• One organism, the mama, is overwhelmed.
• The other organism, the child, is underwhelmed.

When Mama the Overwhelmed hands off a task to Child the Underwhelmed, the overwhelmed feels relief while the underwhelmed feels valued.

Why We Resist Family Symbiosis

I’m sure psychologists have a long list of why we resist anything as humans, but from this mama’s perspective, our resistance is based on these thoughts we think, but don’t like to say out loud:

We want it done right. And we want to be The Mama, the One Who Does It and Can Do It All.

Remember Your Purpose in Homeschooling

But don’t forget your reason for having the children at home: to educate them.

Education doesn’t end when the books close or the bathtub of history lessons drains. We need to educate our children in the things of real life, too, like how to handle being overwhelmed and how to scrub the bathtub.

When we delegate, the task gets done – maybe not perfectly, but it’s done – and everyone is equally-whelmed, not over-, not under-, but somewhere safe and gentle on the symbiotic continuum.

Symbiosis: The Solution to Overwhelmed Parents and Bored Children

The next time your child comes to you with the whine of the ages, “Mommy, I’m borrrred,” take a look at your to do list and tell them how much you need their help.

Then hug them and work together toward your family goals.

It’s symbiotic. And it’s life in the real world. Receive the gift of symbiosis before you reach the breaking point of parenting.